"Opened Dawes" Podcast Ep 12: Be a Messenger NOT a Messiah!

This is the podcast of  “Opened Dawes” Live, which runs weekly as a live video show on YouTube, Facebook, and LinkedIn at 11 am on Tuesday mornings so that we can throw open the doors and welcome you in for a relaxed sharing of information, tips, thoughts, and answering any questions about public speaking and presentation/communication skills you may have.

So, make sure you set the reminders for the shows on Facebook or YouTube (links below) as they are scheduled online and get involved.  The stream is designed to be interactive, with comments/questions able to be shown and attributed on screen.

This week’s show delves into the effect of changing our mentality from dictating our information/message to others, to sharing our knowledge, experiences, and skills for people to choose whether to absorb and grow from.

We all grew from hearing others at some point in our lives (and still do), and we have probably all switched off when someone dictated their information and spoke AT us.  But not only does it influence how your audience receives your information, but also on how you feel about presenting it.  Relieve the pressure on yourself by just sharing your knowledge and information as an option for them and feel the difference when you realise that they are there to hear this, not to judge you! 

This show can be watched live (and previous shows recorded) from the following locations:
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/OpenDawesTraining/live

YouTube:
www.youtube.com/channel/UCnwlPiWylgEDLrwemI8ZZjw (or search YouTube for Open Dawes Training and click subscribe to be notified)

Thanks to:
www.opendawestraining.co.uk
www.chrisdawescomms.co.uk
www.opendawestraining.co.uk/connect

Transcript

1:16

Greetings. Welcome to Episode 12. of Opened Dawes Live. My name is Chris Dawes, founder of open door strainer. And as I've always said project of passion because I've realized the doors, it's open to me. And I'm hoping it can open more doors for you whether that is more sales, bigger sales promotion, starting your own business, just presenting in general providing training, being having greater presence in meetings, all of the above. That's really what Open Dawes Training is all about. Well, Episode 12 is the title is be a messenger, not a Messiah. And it's a Be honest and say it's it's a phrase that I heard quite recently that I absolutely adored, because it encapsulated a message that I've had for some time. And I just loved the way that it rang because it's all too easy to fall into that trap of almost dictating, when you present when you provide training, when you add your two pennies worth to meetings is that it can be all too easy to go this this this is the fact this is this, this is the way it is. And unless it is categorically black and white, you know your Pythagoras theorem or something is a blast from the past. But it unless it is, you know, statistically, the two plus two equals four, then the best way to do it is to just relax that tone. Now, as I say, in the description for this one, it's an interesting one for me, because this has a double benefit. One, it will be received an awful lot better by your audience. They won't feel spoken at, they won't feel dictated to. But equally for ourselves, it really can relax us. Because if we in our mind, if we're kind of putting ourselves at risk, I guess that's the best way to say it, where we're sort of saying, right, I'm now standing up and I'm setting myself up for for a fall of some description, then Oops, sorry about that didn't mean to press that. If I'm saying categorically, right, I'm going to tell people that this is this, and that is that I'm gonna be extra nervous because I'm worried about what people may think about that. How are they going to interpret? Are they going to? Are they going to warm to me? Are they going to agree with me? Are they going to disagree with me. Whereas if you just lighten it and share your knowledge, your experiences, your skill sets that you've built over time, your opinions based on what you've seen and done. But make sure that you are expressing them, as you know, in my opinion, if you're going to get into the opinions realm, but if you know that you're just going to put that buffet out for people to take as much or as little as they want. You're not putting pressure on yourself. If somebody happens to disagree with the information, that isn't that they are then going, that person was a fool. Absolutely not, they're going to go well, do you know what i like that bit that they said, but I didn't fully agree with that bit there, then that means they don't take that bit, they leave that be that isn't what was of interest to them, they're just gonna pick up the bits and pieces. If you think about yourself, when you've been to a presentation. Invariably, you know, let's say the presentation for argument's sake is is an hour long, or half an hour long, whatever, it doesn't matter. And they will be sharing an awful lot of information with you. And you come away with your own little tidbits that that really resonated with you that are going to have an impact that you're going to go and try to put into practice. But if you spoke to somebody else that's come out of that room, there might be one or two key things that would would sort of be taken on board by both of you because as a speaker, you're always hoping you're going to get you know, a couple of real powerful in high impact elements that are going to resonate with with the majority if not all, that there will be different things because each person is doing their job with different people with different experience levels, with different objectives possibly. So you're all going to be picking your different bits that are going to be important now. For us to then accept that that kind of goes okay. That's a good point. They're not going to be taken everything I say as fact as right for them. Therefore, let me just put out everything that from my experience, from what I have learned from what I have seen, it doesn't mean you need to use those exact exact words necessarily, some people do. But if you're putting it out there, you're not setting you as the person that's sharing it up for a fall. Whereas if Can you imagine if somebody stood in front of you with information from your experience that you kind of go? Actually, that's not strictly true? I don't fully agree with that. But if they've gone, this is the way your disagreement in your mind is a bit more blunt, I would say probably, because you're going was overwhelmed that you're stood there telling me that that is the fact. But I'm afraid from my experience that that wasn't the case. So how dare you stand up there? And tell me that is the way I'm exaggerating it? Because I'm sure you wouldn't think that. But if that person has just said, we have experienced this, and so what we believe to be the case is this. You're going to go? Okay, I can see why you've arrived at that. But actually, interestingly, we have done x, y, and Zed, which means a, b and c are a little bit different for us, you're not offended, you're not thinking any less of that person, you're waiting for the next bit of information they're going to share because didn't agree with that. But let's see what's coming next. Whereas if you've been wound up, the probability is you're going to go I don't even want to listen to any more of this. I'm sure the majority of us can remember times where we've been spoken at where we've been told dogmatically, this is the case. And you kind of go I'm not sure. I fully agree. Equally, by the way, is that it's all too easy. If you're going to you know, dictate that you can forget the wood for the trees. I, we arrived at that conclusion because we understand this. But what about if somebody else doesn't understand this, you've told them that dogmatically so they feel they can't challenge you. Whereas if you kind of go, you know, this is what we found a bit more sort of, you know, friendly, I guess they might kind of go well, I don't fully understand how would that be the case? And you kind of go all that you've forgotten that you don't necessarily haven't done this? Have you seen that? Have you experienced that? You're able to find the signpost to the objection. I guess, really, especially in sales, we know that objections are the signpost of the sale is the phrase. And far too many people think it's a negative, but he's not, you're just realizing that rk have left the gap there. But people aren't going to go asking you to fill in the dots fill in the gaps. Sorry, if you've just dogmatically said, this is the case. You can put people on the backfoot. So by sharing information, sharing knowledge, sharing your experiences and opinions and skills that you've learned that you have that could compliment others, whatever it might be. If you go in with that mindset, you will relax an awful lot more. I often have it with, you know, with my training with with these live shows very much. So I'm always sort of paranoid going on. People might not agree with with the things that I'm sharing. That's healthy. Sometimes those people preferably off record, maybe we'll feedbags out by the way, you know, you were talking about that? Well, we actually had experience of this. Oh, really? Okay. Guess what that tends to find its way into my future presentations, or trainings or live shows or whatever it might be. So I'm always listening, I'm always learning. But I try to do these shows in the way that I'm going look, this isn't my way or the highway. This is just trying to offer thoughts, food for thought, to kind of almost think about the effect I mean, this one for example, it think about the effect it has had on you when somebody's spoken at you when someone's being dogmatic. Think about the effect you may have had if you've ever done that yourself, and think about how you feel before you stand up to present before you stand up to provide your training course, before you speak up in that meeting, that you are part of half the pressure that you put yourself under because you're thinking right I've I've got to be right because I'm saying I am just relax it offer information. Then listen, of what the interactions are from other people. Is it questions? Is it disagreements is it nods is it smiles. So look as well as listen Sorry, I should have said I always tried to make sure I'm paying Attention as much as possible. And that includes whenever you're having presentations, trainings or meetings via webcam as well, is that I'm always trying to sort of keep half an eye on other people's cameras, so that you're looking to sort of see them going on or disagree with that, or, yeah, that's a good point, when you're face to face is great, because you see people nudging each other, but you're just offering information, what you're also doing is that you are giving yourself room for maneuver within that, speaking up in public, whatever it is, because you are offering information, you are seeing how that is received. You are seeing reactions, you're hearing the reactions, and you are able to react accordingly. If you think about in terms of even an interview, you've got things to offer, don't turn around and go, you know, I am the best that this because I've done this, this, this and this, and it was the best experience. Paraphrasing, but you turn around and share. Okay, I have done these things. And I found it a good experience when I was able to do that. And I felt that I grew from this. watch their reactions, listen to the questions, they could suddenly go, Oh, really, but did you? Sorry, I forgot to tell you that I've done that prior to this some years ago. So it was good experience, then to use this and you are reacting, you're giving yourself room for maneuver in whatever it happens to be. We've all got information to share. We've all got knowledge and passions and experiences that are really important to share. That power of sharing that information is what enables all of us to grow further. We'll all have grown from other people sharing information to us in the past, still to this day. That's why we go to seminars and webinars, because there's still more for us to soak up to learn. your knowledge, your experiences, your skills, your passions, your beliefs, they are vital to be shared with other people as well. I've always said that by doing that you can get recognized. But also you are empowering others whether it's the next generation, whether it's your your colleagues, whether it's your subordinates, whether it's ones as well, who knows. And it's just a very powerful thing to be able to do. But just take the edge off and share that information, rather than speaking at people and telling them this is so unless it is categorically you know, two plus two equals four, there's a difference between a presentation and a lecture. I think that's the key thing to think of, am I giving a lecture? Or am I giving a presentation to share information to share my findings to share my experiences, to share my beliefs, then share them that way. Rather than talking at people and telling people that really is, is today's show, I hope that that was useful. Remember, this will actually also be going out as a podcast, probably third Friday, it should be scheduled to go out something like that keep an eye out on the social feeds. And on the on the website goes out on all of the main thing Amazon, Apple, Google podcasts, I can't remember, there's like too many for me to remember. But it goes out as an audio podcast as well of this. Hopefully, it's like these little tidbits that can be be helpful and useful to you in some way. I'm also presenting on Thursday, 12 o'clock, I need to put it out on social media, actually, I'm giving a webinar for the business exchange. They're doing a big charity conference this week. And they've asked me to give a presentation via webinar to charities about how they can present online, we have the same level of presence and impact online whether that of course they have to they have to pitch their charities to get support and action and all of that sort of thing. But as far as I'm aware is that I'm going to provide the link on social media is that other people can jump on to that webinar as well 12 to one on Thursday afternoon, and it's kind of like more of an actual sort of almost training module, if you will. So hopefully, you know some of you will find that interested. But either way this was Episode 12 be a messenger, not a Messiah. Thank you very much for for listening today. It's been a pleasure having your company as always. And don't forget you can drop me a line at any time with any questions. We can have a free 30 minute consultation to see if there's anything I can help with immediately if we're looking at whether any of the training is of use, whether that's face to face, or our online hybrid training programs. We've also got some free downloads on nerves and starting a presentation if you go to Open Dawes Training da w es Open, Dawes, training.co.uk. And if you add a forward slash connect to the end of that, you'll see all the different ways that you can connect and downloads and watching things and listening to things or bits and pieces to hopefully help you. But thank you very much for your time, and have a fantastic rest of the week. I'll see you next week. Cheers.