This is the podcast of “Opened Dawes” Live, which runs weekly as a live video show on YouTube, Facebook, and LinkedIn at 11 am on Tuesday mornings so that we can throw open the doors and welcome you in for a relaxed sharing of information, tips, thoughts, and answering any questions about public speaking and presentation/communication skills you may have.
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This week’s show looks at the impact of focusing too much on what can go wrong, or the potential obstacles (the trees), rather than the things that need to be done and what can be achieved (the snow and the route through the trees).
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Thank you for listening to the Opened Dawes Live podcast. This is actually the audio taken from our weekly live video show that you too can get involved in or watch past episodes back by going to Facebook, YouTube or LinkedIn and searching for Open Dawes Training. That's da w e S. For other ways to connect with us go to Open Dawes training.co.uk forward slash Connect. There you'll find ways to communicate with us free downloads and information about our training programs, whether that is face to face online, or a blend of the two, all designed to help people grow in confidence, willingness and skills to communicate in public. Whether that is giving presentations or speeches, providing training, having great presence or communication skills in meetings, or just having those difficult conversations effectively. public speaking is a soft skill that gives your core skills of voice and can open doors that you may not even know exist yet. But for now, let's dive into this episode of Opened Dawes Live. Hello, welcome to Episode Seven of Opened Dawes Live. Thank you very much for joining me. And that includes I love it my cousin's watching as well, hello, my little boy. Good to see you at. And yes, it's if you didn't read the details, you might be a bit confused by this one because the title is look at the snow, not the trees. No idea what that's got to do with public speaking Have you if you haven't read the details, but there is a reason for it. It's one of the became public speakers, I can't remember exactly which one it was now that that made a comment that you need to if you're a skier is going through the trees, and they're going at a rate and not skiing through them. I think officially you're advised not to but let's just go with it for a minute. The worst thing you can do is go I've got to avoid the trees, I've got to avoid the trees, I've got to avoid the trees because all you will see is the trees. You just become actually obsessed. Like if I said go and sit stand in that corner. And don't think about pink elephants. Or you can going to think about is those pink elephants, you won't be able to get them out of your mind. That's just the nature of Avast, really, I think. Whereas what the true scares are doing is they're looking at the snow, they're looking at the snow, they're finding the root, they're looking for the root through. So looking for the root, not the obstacles. And it's the same that really applies with this is that we can get too bogged down with obsessing about what could go wrong. If we've got a presentation coming up. If I'm delivering a training course, if if you are being asked to be part of a meeting, whether it's a sales meeting, whether it's an internal meeting, whether you are high up in the hierarchy, and you've got to have a meeting or present with a thorny subject with with your people potentially, you know, a whole host of things that can have an impact on it. It's all too easy to just get obsessed with what could go wrong, then that could happen. This could happen, that might not happen. They could think this they could say that. And you get too obsessed with that. Now, there's there's a few reasons why it doesn't work in my in my experience is that point one. It's a huge kicker with regards to nerves, you know, it will just create such a horrible cacophony of of nerves, negative adrenalin, we'll be thinking all about the negative possibilities long before they even happen. I mean, every time we cross the road, do we go, I'm going to get run over. You are mindful, you know we did was it last week we did about preparation for the unexpected. And how you try to sort of put the groundwork in place to a minimize the chance and be cover yourself in case it does happen so that you can get out of it. But it doesn't mean you then obsessed and every thought is about it. Because that's all you think about. And the other point being is that if you think too much about that, you are not leaving enough room for you to actually think about write, what have I got to say? Why have I got to say it? How do I want to say it? What effect do I want to leave my audience with? So you've got to leave the bulk of your thought process for the snow and the root. That's what you have to do. Now, one of the key things I love doing this one in my training because people go what one of the key things that I say is stop being narcissistic. Well, it sounds a bit brutal, doesn't it? But it's not as brutal as it's meant, because we always think about what if it is going to go wrong for me? What if they don't like me? What if? What if, what if, and it's all about, you know what effect it will have on us and how we will be portrayed. But the critical thing for me is actually flip it on its head, what do I want my audience to get out of this? What do I need them to learn to hear to feel to want to do next. And the more we focus on that. And again, it's critical for that route through rather than the actual trees that are there. The more we're able to focus, the more we're infused, we're excited, I've got this opportunity to pass this information on to them, the more focused the actual content that's going to be shared with them. And the way it's going to be shared. Next week show for example is going to be what's your tone, because it's also about how you're going to say what you want to say. And if we think about what do I want my audience to get from this. That's what the focus will be rather than narcissistically thinking what's going to go wrong. Think about them. It could be things like past failures. And I always say failures because I tell you now, it won't be as big a deal for them as it is for you. It's just the nature of the beast, you know it, you for you, it just went horribly, horribly wrong for them. They were sat in another presentation another meeting another training course and they got this information, you know, it's not Britain's Got Talent, where they're judging you they're trying to get this are great, okay, I learned all of this information. That past failure element is you got to put it to bed learn. One of the other shows I'm going to do at some point about is to learn rather than obsess. Learn from it. Okay, what what wasn't I happy with what didn't go as I would like to find you know, what maybe that goes is one of the things you last week show of the preparation for the unexpected just to cover yourself. Maybe it goes into that. But the other one is that we just grow, we just get better every presentation, every training course I deliver, every element is going to be a little bit different anyway. And so you've now picked it up. In fact, I I'm sure it will be another show. But I've always had this thing that there's always three variations of your presentation, the one you intend to give, the one you give, and the one you wish you'd given. So we've got all our plans, this is what's going to happen. Something happens within it, some interaction happens, you remember something else, you add something else, you forget something, and we end up with the one that's given. And then afterwards, we go, Ah, I could have said this, I should have said that. We're all hilarious. After the moment, for example, we will come up with the best jokes after the moments gone. So just except there's always going to be those three. And in fact, that becomes the one you intend to give next time. So don't worry about there being past failures is that you kind of go right you know what, no problem, I'm going to do this preparation for next time, I'm going to have this guide in front of me in case I need to refer to it, I am going to have an extra cable in my bag, whatever it is, it should not then make you obsess about it. When you go into the next one. Just relax. It's the route that you're looking for. What do I want my audience to get out of this? And I say audience, it still applies if it's just in a meeting the other people around the meeting table or in the meeting room. That's your audience at that moment. If you're worried about things like forgetting your scripts, you're going to have your bullet points there. You're worried about it. But what if I'm going to be wrong? What if I'm underprepared? Well, these are things that you actually don't think about are that could go wrong, that could go wrong, fleetingly go, what if I'm wrong, right? Let's make sure that my research is up to date. What if I don't prepare enough? will prepare enough? What if I forget my script, we'll just have bullet points down in front of you so that you can refer to them. So you're gonna make sure it's also about not obsessing about something that could or couldn't happen, but understanding right, what will I need to do to adapt? You know, I, we have examples like if if there's more people than you expected, or too few people compared to what you expected? It's no problem. Don't Don't think about the trees. That is those obstacles that suddenly go, oh, there's more, there's less. What do I need to do? Right? I'm going to adapt, right? I'm suddenly going to get rid of a load of the chairs and have chairs up closer to me, and I'm going to deliver it a bit more intimately. Okay, there's more, right? You know, what we either need more chairs in, or it's standing room only at the back, and we'll make sure that I have got the stage setup, right. Happy Days. All I've done is I've adapted I haven't spent time obsessing about but what could go wrong? Stop looking at the trees, think of the route through and it's what's going to make the difference. What another key one is the fact that there's hierarchy, there's bosses in the room, there's examiners, there's whatever it could be that this hierarchy that we're in a room and you suddenly start going trees, trees, trees, I'm gonna hit the trees. They could fire me they could hate me and lose all chance or for whatever I mean, Crikey, you could think anything if we allowed ourselves and as humans, I think we normally do Don't wait. But what about the fact that you could go fan tastic my route here is that I've got the opportunity to stand up, be me, share my knowledge, my experiences, my infusion, enthusiasm, my passion, my motivation, my visions, to my the hierarchy, as well as my peers. What a great opportunity. When else would I have this opportunity, those bosses are going to sit down, stay quiet and listen to what I have to say. I'm not worried about what they think what will be will be. I can't change that if I am just going to be myself. share that information with them. enthusiasm that I have for it, they're gonna know that you're human. So they're not suddenly expecting you to be this absolutely perfect robot. To be honest, a lot of them will also kind of go, it's gonna be a bit daunting for them. I know with me being here, because I'm their boss or whatever. They're going to give you grace. But just think about the route and that route in that that instance is the opportunity for them to hear you. So it's a distinct mind change of how you need to see it. And it will enable you to have clarity of thought, clarity of delivery, it will enable you to enjoy it a whole lot more and therefore probably achieve an awful lot more as well. It's good to take a quick drink as well. I did it deliberately at coffee time. So hopefully you haven't coffee, please feel free to put comments or questions as well, by the way, any experiences, you've had yourself any things that it makes you think and wonder if I can help, I'd be delighted to focus on being new, and the information you're going to share. People will actually be impressed if something does happen to go awry. And there's no point second guessing we have no idea what that could be couldn't be whatever. But the idea that you just calmly resolve attempt to resolve whatever may have happened, rather than flapping and obsessing and making a bigger deal of it. If you just calmly kind of go, right, that's happened two seconds, try to resolve it. If you can't resolve it, you then adapt and do it without whatever, whatever has gone wrong, or whatever example it could be, people will actually be more impressed by that. So again, we'll obsess Oh, but what if this goes wrong? No problem, I'm going to relax, I'm going to keep smiling, I'm going to sort of involve them in the experience. And I'm going to calmly attempt to resolve the issue. Or I'm going to adapt and do it without whatever the issue was with. They're going to be impressed by that. They're going to have empathy for you. They're humans that are probably glad that is you rather than them doing this. So they're going to have empathy, and they're going to go, Wow, okay, they really dealt with that impressively Didn't they, it was no big drama. And we still sat here, they're there for a reason. Remember, they're there to hear your presentation to be trained by you to, to be part of that meeting for a reason. And so in all reality, all they're interested in is that information is not really you. It's the information that you're about to share. Now, we know that you're hoping that it could lead to sales, it could lead to two promotions, it could lead to more opportunities, it could, who knows. And that's the whole point, opening doors that we don't know exist yet. There is that, but that's kind of the secondary bit your focus is on, I'm sharing this information with those that are here listening to me. So that's all they care about. So if you were able to instead of obsessing before you get there about what could go wrong, and instead of making a drama out of what maybe has gone wrong, you know, it could be more wrong for you than it is for them. But you've just calmly acknowledged it, tried to remedy remedy it. If you haven't, you've then just gone, I'm going to adapt, I'm going to do without that means that we've got a new mindset that's going to make us feel a lot more relaxed. And you've also made the delivery that much slicker, that much more inclusive, that much more succinct, and that much more informative. So try to think, look at the snow, look at the route, look at the goal, rather than the obstacles, the trees that you might hit. As soon as you start looking at them, you're gonna hit them. That's the big problem. So that was this week's session. I hope it was it was useful. It's all about trying to increase your willingness, your confidence and your skills to to speak up, be the one that says Yes, I will. Or a volunteer. And and let your voice be heard. Let your knowledge be heard. Let your experiences your passion, your enthusiasm, your potential of either you, your organization, your products, your services, it doesn't matter what it is. It's about sharing it with other people and open those doors. I have the same myself thinking through this whether it's this show, in fact, by the way, I definitely have it when I'm doing these shows. Was it last week or the week before? I think it was actually the week before I realized that I'd sheduled this for 11pm instead of 11am. And I didn't realize this until I was there. Why is it not counting down? I've got less than 10 minutes to go. And I suddenly realized, oh my gosh, it's 11pm. And this software doesn't. The broadcast Studio software use doesn't allow me once it's within that window. I can't just change it and suddenly go live In less than 10 minutes, 15 minutes on LinkedIn. I can in fact, you can't even change it on LinkedIn. So I had to go right, what am I going to do? Right? I'm going to make this 1115. I'm going to shedule it, I'm going to ditch the LinkedIn one altogether, because I just can't do that one. And I'm going to announce policies technically technical issue, it's 1115 instead of 11am. I then washed it off, got everything ready. And off I went. And I went and did the show. It was not obsessing about the whole thing. Whether I'm giving seminars, guest slots on other people's shows, whatever it might be. It's, you know, it is about making sure that we think all those those bits and pieces so that was this week's show, please do go and have a look. And let me put it back up again, as well in terms of the banner, and Open Dawes training.co.uk, forward slash Connect. There's multiple ways that you can connect with us here at Open, Dawes Training, whether that is the social media channels and the YouTube channel where we try to put up lots of material that can be helpful for you, the blog posts as well. You know, lots of tips and advice, free downloads as well on in particular nerves, and ways to open up your presentation, as well as both the blended online and face to face training, or a face to face training. Go and have a look. There's multiple ways you can connect with us. I'll be back next week. And as I say, the plan at the moment is that it's what's your tone, the way that you say the impact the difference the way you say something can have as well as what you actually say. So, thank you very much for myself, Chris Dawes Open Dawes Training. It has been a pleasure. I'll see you next week. Thank you for listening to Opened Dawes Live. I hope you enjoyed it and it was useful. Remember, go to Open Dawes training.co.uk forward slash Connect, to find out more about how you can interact with us and how we can help you